Sunday, June 8, 2014

Same song, different verse

Well, tomorrow we head to VCH again with Emma.  This will be step two in the journey to better hearing.  Emma will be receiving her Cochlear implant tomorrow.  So, in to surgery we go, to implant the internal part of the device.  This is luckily outpatient and we should be home tomorrow night by early evening we hope and pray!  We area all a little nervous, a lot excited for the future, and ready for it to be over!!  We have been reading books, talking and preparing her the best we can.  Her answer is mostly, "oh man another surgery"!  She understands it will help her hear etc, but she does understand that first there will be some pain, some soreness and a few days of rest.  However, I am amazed at how well she is holding up despite the few signs of anxiety.

So, we took a min vacation, we have played with friends and she got to pick all we ate today to prepare.  I have done laundry, went to the store and cleaned the house.  Taylor is going to spend a few days with Nana so we can focus on Emma and her needs for a few days.  We hate to see him go, but it makes it easier to just have to focus on her and she is pretty sensitive the first few days after having surgeries, the meds make her a little off for a few days.  Plus, sitting on the couch watching movies is not as much fun for a three year old:)

I did reflect this morning about how the process has changes over the years of us going to Vandy for procedures of some type.  We use to have to carry huge diaper bags, my breast pump, coolers to store the milk, and so on.  Now, we carry one bag with Emma's supplies and mine and Daniel's as well.  I like the bag I carry now a whole lot more, hehee it is a nice 31 bag with my initial and a zipper to cover it all up.  So, the amount of bags and the bag itself has changed.  Emma use to ride in a little red car in the preop area laughing at the doctors in the hall, now she sits on a bed and colors.  I use to only have to worry about her but now I have to focus on Taylor's needs and his care as well.  And so on and so on...

But two things remain the same:  1.  Family and friends standing by our side during it all!  We are always so well supported and cared for.  I am so thankful for that, it makes it easier to know we are not alone and that help is a phone call away.  We already have family coming to sit with us, care for Taylor, picking up meds and dinner for us, and on call for whatever else we might need or she might need.  At least once my parents will be called on to get McDonald's and come hold her.  (She gets mad at us)  Then, we have friends bringing food, sending cards, prayers and gifts.  It all helps trust me!! Hugs and prayers are as needed as food and drivers.
2.  the fear I feel is still as real as the night she was wheeled out of my hospital room in her little incubator and placed into the ambulance to go to VCH for testing.  I know they will take good care of her, but breaks this mommies heart to have her be faced with this.  I no longer stand in the hall sobbing when they take her, but I still long to do it.  I will stand strong for my little fighter!!  And I am sure in a few weeks the fear will no longer keep me up at night or make me want to clean everything in site!  But till then I will do my best to not let it rule me.  Dear God give us all the strength to help Emma face a new and exciting journey.

I will do my best to update briefly when we get home tomorrow, till then prayers for sweet Emma Rose!!!
A better hearing journey will start tomorrow!!

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