Being a special needs parent is not always easy and to be honest most days it is hard and sometimes heartbreaking as well. To go on any outing takes prior thinkng to make sure you have extra outfits, plenty of water, and diapers/pullups etc. Going to the unknown can cause my heart to race and a cold sweat to break out. Will she fall, can she move around safely, can we change her diaper, will people stare and so on and so on....
However, there are days or maybe just a few hours sometimes where Emma is just Emma and I can relax and just enjoy watching her just be. This afternoon was one of those rare moments when Emma could just be. We spent the afternoon at my parents playing in the warm spring afternoon air. She was just a kid, not a special needs kid for almost three hours. She laughed with her cousin, played with her Aunt and Uncle and ran all over the yard. I looked over at one point (I was chasing T all over the yard for most of the time) and she was yelling at me from the swingset, she had gotten on a swing by herself and was just swinging. She was so proud and so was I. She painted a birdhouse she made with her Uncle Bob and was just squirting paint onto her plate and laughing and painting to beat the band. She would turn around and tell us to look:) She played ball with her favorite cousin and had a big old time. She talked nonstopped and smiled the whole time.
I just got to set and watch it all. VERY VERY RARE moment. She could get around with no help, play with no help and just have tons of fun. I loved her freedom and the time to be with Taylor who was learning to explore his new freedom of crawling in grass.
Tonight everyone is sleeping soundly after a full afternoon of outside play, and I am feeling blessed. I thank God for the rare afternoon of Emma being Emma and those sweet moments will help me through the rougher ones that are looming just around the next corner.
Today Emma was free, even if it was just for a little while.