Friday, November 14, 2008

Busy week and a sad mommy

So sorry that I have been MIA this week. We have been busy with therapies this week and trying to get Emma better. They finally got her on a better and stronger medicine late Sunday night and it seems to be working, but making her cranky. We are just praying this does not mean her kidneys are getting worse. That is a one of the warning signs, but we pray it is not. We see her kidney doctor next week, so hopefully he can make me relax about it all. He is good at that. We see him a lot and he is a great doctor who really cares for Emma.

I am having a low week. They happen ever so often. Sometimes it just gets to you when you constantly are dealing with so many doctors and therapist. I feel that I am constantly either heading to an appointment or coming from one. Our days are full and not full of friends and play dates.

Anyway, Daniel and I had a long talk last night and I shared my emotions with him, and I feel better today. I sometimes just get so frustrated that she is not able to walk yet. I dream nightly of her running and dancing around. I am sure that someday this dream will be a reality, but in the mean time it is still hard to watch your child struggle to accomplish simple everyday task like getting to her toys, finding her mom in another room and so on. She is able to get what she needs and all but it is not at the speed or the way others around her do. She gets so mad at her cousin who runs around and leaves her. Not to mention the looks we get when people realize that she is as old as she is and does not walk or if she is in her walker they stare too. I just want to yell what are you looking at!!

I am blessed though to have such a loving daughter who makes me laugh daily even when I am down. She has such a love for Mickey Mouse, outside playing, her family, fish and so much more. She plays with her music and sings all day long. Her sweet little voice could melt any heart.

Anyway, all in all it has been a busy week and Emma is slowly getting better. I am too! Hopefully with a few more talks with my loving husband I will snap out of my down time:)

2 comments:

Adrienne said...

Hi there,

I'm sorry I can't be there to talk this week. I know talking with you always makes me feel better when I'm having a rough time with Owen's challenges. It must be so hard for you to want so much for Emma to walk. We just want them to be like their peers, don't we? It's so hard when it takes so much longer for our children to be able to do certain things. I know I can't compare Owen to Emma medically, but I want you to know I do feel for you in a way that only mothers of children with special circumstances can understand.

I hope this new medicine will start kicking in for Emma and that the crankiness will improve.

You are so right that Emma is so loving and has the most wonderful personality and smile. She can light up any room (just like you!) and is such a blessing to us all. We miss you both and can't wait to see you very soon!!!

Joy said...

I can only imagine the all the feelings that you are having right now. I will keep your daughter in my thoughts and prayers.

I wish I had some magic words to say to you that would make this feeling go away. One thing I can tell you is I think many mothers have similar feelings at one time or another you are brave enough to share those thoughts where others are not.

Believe it or not I think just in sharing those thoughts you daughter will benefit.

Thank you so much for commenting on my blog.
Joy