Sunday, December 7, 2008

Dreams Rearranged

I have not posted this week for a few reasons. We have been pretty busy and not around a computer, and I have been trying to wrap my head around the newest development with my little Emma. I have ran the gamut of happiness, sadness, optimistic, and mourning over another dream diverted.

We have made the hard decision to get her a wheelchair. We have decided to do this for a few reasons. Number one being Emma needs to be able to get around easier and safer. Her walker is not always the best or safest in all cases. She is very frustrated to not be able to do certain things on her own. She hates being carried nowadays and fusses when she has to be carried. Plus, if we are going to start her in school this spring she needs a better way, then her bottom, to get around the halls or classroom. The process to get a wheelchair takes a few months and she will need to get use to it as well. We are going to get to trick it out and pick colors and all (lighted wheels too)

We are lucky to be able to borrow a wheelchair while we get her's made. She tried one out this week, and she was able to get around with no problems. She was able to do it with no help. She just knew how to do it. It was fun to see her explore at a new height, she could see so much more. She went all over the PT clinic!!

It has been hard to deal with this new development. I guess having another dream diverted in another direction, was more then I could handle. I really wish that something could come easy for her or in the normal way. We are lucky, that the MRI did not show anything to worry about, and we still think she will walk someday, but we are not sure when or if it will be without assistance of some kind. We all just wanted to give her more of a equal footing with others her age, and her in a chair will help due that. I am happy to have her able to move and all, but it was not the route I had planned. In the back of my head I knew it could happen but I prayed she would walk before that. I have spent a lot of time this week reflecting on all of this, and crying a few tears. But in the end it is for the best, and she was so happy to be in the wheelchair, that it makes it really hard to be sad, when she is so happy. I am sure it will take time to get use to the attention she will draw in her tiny wheelchair, but she is so cute in her tiny chair.

I also wanted to share the great memory we made this morning. My husband makes cinnamon rolls before church each week, and brings them to me in bed (yes, he gets up with Emma on the weekends). Emma got in bed with me to eat, and when daddy came back to join us, Emma patted the bed beside her for daddy. So, we all snuggled up in bed and eat! It was so cute and nice to experience such a normal activity as breakfast in bed. No worries, no therapies, no medicines, nothing but family.

Anyway, I will keep you posted on the wheelchair news, as we continue to talk and plan. Now we are working on getting approval from our HOA to put in ramps, and getting a wheelchair pass from our doctor. I continue to pray for peace during this new storm of life. I am not giving up on my dream of her walking, because I know someday she will in some fashion! I will not give up on my strong little fighter.

May Peace come to all who read this,


Mama2hre said...

Have fun "designing" Emma's new wheelchair. :) I'll be praying for as you jump these new hurdles and adjust to her new wheels! :)

Joy said...

I will keep Emma in my thoughts and prayers. I know this must be a difficult time for you, a little bitter sweet.

Rachel said...

Your little one is precious and so, so beautiful. I am praying for you and your family.