Friday, April 24, 2009

I need to rant for a moment

Okay I feel the urge to rant for a minute, and this feels like the best place to do it. So bare with me for a few moments.

I am sitting her right now watching my adorable daughter playing in the floor and watching her favorite Barney. She is talking and singing and so very happy and content. You would never know she is so very ill and so medically fragile right now. Or that I might have to start holding her down four times a day to empty her bladder out for her.

I am feeling so angry right now that my happy little girl will have to start such a process and that this is forever for her. I have so many questions swarming in my head about what this will mean for her and all of us. I just want to scream at the moon or something right now. I know God is in control but I currently am angry at His path. Why should such a sweetie suffer so much? Why??? I really wish someone could give me an answer right now for that.

I love my big girl so much and I just wish she could just be a kid and not a kid with medical problems. I wish our only big problem of the day was which park to go play at?

There you have it, I am angry and very confused right now. I know it will pass but for now I want to scream and fight!


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